Hello Reader,

Thank you to those of you who were able to join us for our most recent Neuroqueer Connections gathering on Wednesday, October 16! 10 of us (including Dani and Kim) shared space together. We welcomed 8 returning members! Our group was 50% people of color.

Let's recap our group session last week!

This past groups format was an “Informal Hangout” session, as chosen by group members in a recent survey. We enjoyed each other’s company - first in breakout groups and then together in a larger group. Here's How We Spent Our 90 minutes Together: We started our group with member check-ins. Several resonant themes emerged: The importance of pacing and observation, especially when navigating chronic illness, fatigue, burnout, etc Challenges associated with recovering from the impacts of climate crises including hurricane relief, and unexpected events like illness, financial, car and home needs Grief & struggle as it relates to surviving work, academic responsibilities, and executive functioning tasks We spent time together in break out groups and in a large group, hanging out, sharing ideas, and processing together. Points of discussion are unpacked below! We have two volunteers for Show and Tell over the next two groups! As a reminder, Show and Tell is a flexible 10 minute spotlight where 1-2 group members each session share about something they are working on, something of special interest to them at the moment, etc. The purpose is for us to learn more about each other in a way that feels fun and accessible to us as neuroqueer humans. Potential future topics for discussion include: Grief associated with unmasking (changes in relationships, shifts in our relationship to “productivity”, etc) Support re: coming out/ advocating for self at work (in terms of gender, access needs/accommodations, etc) Designated time & space in Neuroqueer Connections to discuss medical trauma and embodied experiences Processing of unique relational dynamics as neuroqueer humans

Discussion Points from Breakout Sessions & Large Group:

• A recent survey indicated a majority interest in at least 1 breakout group per month, so breakout groups were held during last weeks group!
  • Dani and Kim offered an anonymous survey to gauge interest in facilitator participation in breakout groups; Kim and Dani joined the breakout groups based on the results of the survey.
  • In breakout groups and in our larger group as a whole, the following topics were discussed:
    • Cats & dogs!
    • Time optimism as an alternative framing to time blindness/ time agnosia, as many of us tend to overestimate and underestimate time
    • Contamination OCD
    • Impacts of executive dysfunction on cooking and feeding ourselves
    • Folks discussed ideas for food prep and nourishing our bodies when we are low on spoons. We have a brief list started on the resource doc, and want to encourage you to keep this crowdsourcing conversation going. It can be so helpful to hear other's tips and tricks (especially with dietary restrictions!). Some ideas that were shared include:
      • Cereal
      • Frozen food like dumplings and pizza
      • Protein bars
      • String cheese
      • Snack and medicine cart in your room
      • Bananas
      • Crackers, cookies
      • “Easy,” 2-3 step recipes shared among friends
      • Soup swap - making 5-6 portions of one soup, and then receiving 5-6 different soups
      • Potlucks where the host keeps leftovers to freeze
  • We identified learned/ internalized voices from parents or caregivers (especially related to expectations and shame)
  • “Anytime there is a ‘should’ that is always my cue to question what I am thinking/hearing! And ask where/who the should is coming from”
  • “Sometimes I even perceive my own task list for myself as demands… and then I avoid them LOL”
  • Experiencing PDA (persistent drive for autonomy) while also being a people-pleaser with Rejection Sensitivity!

Resources shared in our last group: Book recommendations - “Laziness Does Not Exist” and “Unlearning Shame” by Dr. Devon Price KC Davis, author of "How to Keep House While Drowning" & Struggle Care Website - advice on doing chores/laundry/ other care tasks with depression or executive functioning difficulties. 4 min. video from KC Davis "5 Things" Tidying method​ ​Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy (KAP) Services with Dani (for clients in FL & IL) You can also learn more about this treatment modality atJourney Clinical's KAP 101 Page​ This week's KAP Conference Hosted by Journey Clinical on Friday and Saturday (Oct 25-26) has sessions that are open to the public and share vital education on psychedelic assisted psychotherapy. Additional resources to check out (that were not mentioned in group but felt relevant to share): ​FED-UP Collective: "Fighting Eating Disorders in Underrepresented Populations" Collective of trans and gender diverse people who see eating disorders as a social justice issue @wearefedup OCD Expert, Alegra Kastens, was recently interviewed on 2 podcasts: The Armchair Expert and We Can Do Hard Things​

*These resources are added to a shared group document where members crowd-source and share resources, links and information. To gain access to this shared resource, join us for a live group session! Please note: we aim to prioritize resources and teachings from people of color.

Music Highlight:

We opened our group session with a "Thanks for Coming" by Rainbow Kitten Surprise. Dani suggested this song after recently seeing RKS live in Chicago (one of the best concerts they have ever seen!)

It was suggested by a wise group member that we develop a playlist that showcases past musical shares! We will develop this in the coming weeks.

WE WANT YOUR MUSIC SUGGESTIONS! If you have music you would like to share with the Neuroqueer Connections Community, reply directly to this email or please use our feedback form to submit your favorite songs and artists!

Tentative Agenda for Group on Wednesday October 30th, 2024 at 5pm ET/ 4pm CT/ 2pm PT: Welcome new members! Review of access needs/ group agreements, and any questions or reflections folks may have Member Show and Tell (10-15 mins) Check-in around group structure & breakout spaces (Informal Hangout, Community Care Group, Deep Dive Focus on a topic previously identified) Possible breakout spaces, including a BIPOC affinity space Possible Practice Playground exercise (if there is interest and time permitting) One word closing check-in

Announcements from Kim & Dani:

• In our last few groups, we have not been holding a 10 min break about halfway through the group. Although this was built into our early sessions, we feel our time is precious together. We have noticed that group may flow easier when individuals take breaks as needed, without building the break into our agenda. Please know you are always welcome to take a break in the midst of our group sessions, for any reason. We welcome you to share any access needs with us and fellow members through the Zoom chat, during a live group session, or through our ​Anonymous Feedback Form.
• We are *still* considering adding an additional 15 minutes to the length of our group, given some feedback from group members about desires for some extra time together... Dani and Kim will be checking in with themselves and one another before making a final decision.
• ONGOING NEUROQUEER CONNECTIONS DISCORD! Thank you to a very tech savvy group member who created a discord group where members can connect outside of our bi-weekly space!! Dani and Kim will not be participants on the Discord group in order to support unfiltered member connection :) Please find Discord information – including directions on how to join and navigate Discord- located on the Resource Page, which is accessible to folks who have joined a live session in the past.
• As a reminder, the maximum number of participants will be 12 members each session, and we are reserving half of our group spots for BIPOC participants.
• Please remember to cancel 48 hours in advance of group if you have registered and cannot attend. Canceling with more notice allows time for other folks to register if interested. Registration reserves a spot for you in group, and is first come, first serve. We charge the card we have on file on Monday nights prior to group.
• You can visit this ​Anonymous Form​ at any time if you’d like to share questions, concerns, suggestions, or thoughts about your experience in Neuroqueer Connections - We welcome and encourage your feedback!

If you are interested in joining our next group as a new member, please apply here. If you are a returning member who has not yet confirmed your spot in our upcoming group, please register here! We meet every other Wednesday for 90 minutes. We offer drop in and returning member commitment options.

Our group next week is on October 30th 2024, we look forward to seeing you there. We welcome halloween costumes, and no pressure - come as you are!

In community,

Dani & Kim

Dani Sullivan, LCSW (they/them) intentionstherapy.com​

Kim Konopka, LCSW (they/them) yungmeepsychotherapy.com​