Hello Reader,

We are writing to share our final Neuroqueer Connections (NQC) group summary from our closing session held on January 8, 2025.

Thank you to those of you who were able to join us for our final Neuroqueer Connections gathering on Wednesday, January 8, 2025. It was a small group of 5 of us (including Dani and Kim) where we were able to honor this transition with a variety of collective practices.

Let's recap our group session from last week!

• We began group by welcoming folks with a song (Keeping the Light On - Joy Oladokun)
• We reviewed the group agenda and purpose for this closing session. Some of what we reflected upon included:
  • Honoring what we have built together and acknowledging the limitations of this current structure
  • Recognizing that our current drop-in structure didn’t allow for accountability and repair in the ways that we needed, particularly for people of color within a mixed race group
  • Identifying that consistency in group attendance can help build trust over time, and thus increase feelings of connection and safety
  • Naming our explicit intention to hold space for transition and change as group comes to an end
• We continued with a Personal Intention Setting Journal Activity: How would I like to move through this transition out of regular group meetings? What might I like to prioritize or focus on during this final session?
  • The goal for this exercise was to identify and anchor in an intention for today’s group together
  • We listened to the song Dream Lake by Yasmin Williams.
• We continued with a Resourcing reflection: What helps you soften (being present with your defenses down, not prickly, curious compassionate, accountable) in situations that seem to demand your hardness (conflict/change/transition/loss)? Folks shared the following resources:
  • Grounding into the sacredness of the present moment
  • Remembering that ‘this too is temporary’
  • Breathing and finding a home in the present moment
  • Noticing and sharing gratitude for the labor it takes to show up; the labor it takes to share our experiences honestly, sharing thanks for the labor it takes to be in diverse community
  • Tarot and oracle practices to seek guidance
  • Being with others, interrupting isolation
  • Releasing myself from saying or doing the “right” thing and also releasing that expectation of others
  • Treating myself how I might treat a young person navigating change
  • Listening to music
  • Journaling with the support of prompts
  • Reminding myself that I trust myself (affirmation); I have been through hard things before
  • Movement (yoga)
  • Creative practices
  • Mantras like "I am unfinished"
  • Supporting others
  • Gratitude practice
  • Games
• Next, we practiced a somatic grounding and body scan meditation to support finding the level of ease in our body that feels both opening and protective at the same time.
  • Dani led us in a meditation titled “EASE" from Chani Nicholas
  • Here, we intended to feel into the feeling of containment and our edges, and the ease that comes with not pushing on our edges ; we also aimed to access spaciousness
• Dani then led us in a Grief Processing activity called “guided safe witnessing of grief or hurt parts” where we practiced befriend loss, endings, failure, and/or hurt.
  • Folks may have experienced hurt in the group and this would have been be a place to witness this pain with compassion and care; and/or folks may have been disappointed and grieving the loss of this space, and this would have been an opportunity to hold space for those feelings.
  • And if folks had no hard feelings about group ending or group experiences, this could have been a supportive practice for different changes/losses that are bringing up challenging emotions
  • Here is an image that guided our reflection on grief - this safe witnessing practice was created by Fanny Priest, @the.trauma.witch

• Finally, we asked a closing Guiding Question as a journaling prompt- what is possible for me/us as this is ending? Here are some possibilities that arose:
  • Spaciousness and ease that come from taking a break, offering time and space to reflect on what is needed in order to grow
  • More resilience, less defensiveness
  • Abilities to address harder things in a group setting is a bit easier now
  • Reminders of growth at an ending
  • Reminders to access gratitude practices and matras that may serve us
  • Commitment to “showing up even on my bad days”
  • Desires to practice breathing more and tap into the power of intention setting
  • Appreciation for what felt like “exposure therapy” through the practice of being social and being seen more often
• We closed by sharing messages of gratitude and care for one another.

A question was asked about whether Dani and Kim will continue facilitating future groups. We shared that it remains unknown for now! We take seriously the observations and lessons learned from our time planning and facilitating Neuroqueer Connections, and would want to incorporate the following adjustments if we were to co-facilitate a similar offering again:

• Focusing more heavily on informed consent as new members apply to join the group; this might include meeting 1:1 with each applicant to learn more about levels of awareness/ commitments to learning, as well as how resilient folks may feel re: navigating microaggressions and accountability/repair. This might also include developing shared understandings about the impossibility of guaranteeing safety within the space. This would, rightfully, require a significant amount of time and energy.
• We would ask folks to commit to attending a specific number of consecutive groups in order to better support the cultivation of connection, trust, and safety within the space.
• We would be interested in working with Black, Brown and Indigenous co-facilitators to better meet the needs of BIPOC community members.

As we navigate these times of change and transition, music has been a grounding force for our neuroqueer bodyminds. Here is a song called "Joy & Grief" by The Bengsons:

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Thank you all for your presence over the last 7 months. We appreciate each and every person who attended even just one group. What a pleasure it was to get to know you and to learn from you! Thank you for your presence and for your contributions to this virtual community.

Please find our email addresses and websites below, although we are stepping back from facilitating NQC currently, we will still be present and enthusiastic about our practices and our healing work with clients. Kim may have openings for new clients in the spring but keeps a waitlist in the meantime & Dani has 2 current openings in their practice at this time.

In care and community,

Dani & Kim

Dani Sullivan, LCSW (they/them) intentionstherapy.com

Kim Konopka, LCSW (they/them) yungmeepsychotherapy.com

Our email addresses:

dani@intentionstherapy.com

kim@yungmeepsychotherapy.com