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Hello Reader,
Thank you to those of you who were able to join us for our first group in October! Our 10th group, hosted on Wednesday, October 3rd welcomed 10 returning members; our group was 50% people of color.
Announcements from your facilitators:
- Dani and Kim surveyed the group at the end of our most recent meeting to learn more about interests regarding 1) group structure (Community Care, Deep Dive Focus, and Informal Hangouts) and 2) frequency of breakout groups. **Results showed a majority interest in having an “Informal Hangout” as our next group structure, and a majority interest in at least 1 breakout group per month.
- *We are considering adding an additional 15 minutes to the length of our group, given some feedback from group members about desires for some extra time together... Dani and Kim will need to check in with themselves about scheduling needs, etc. before making a final decision.
- ONGOING NEUROQUEER CONNECTIONS DISCORD! Thank you to a very tech savvy group member who created a discord group where members can connect outside of our bi-weekly space!! Dani and Kim will not be participants on the Discord group in order to support unfiltered member connection :) Please find Discord information – including directions on how to join and navigate Discord- located on the Resource Page, which is accessible to folks who have joined a live session in the past.
- As a reminder, we’ve noticed that the proposed maximum number of participants in group (10-12 members each session) feels just right in our space. The maximum number of participants will be 12 members each session, and we are reserving half of our group for BIPOC participants.
- Please remember to cancel 48 hours in advance of group if you have registered and cannot attend. Canceling with more notice allows time for other folks to register if interested. Registration reserves a spot for you in group, and is first come, first serve. We charge the card we have on file on Monday nights prior to group.
Let's recap our group session last week!
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Our past group was a community care process group where some of us were able to make requests for neuroqueer support regarding various topics & current life events. We also had our first member Show and Tell, which was the greatest delight!
Here's How We Spent Our 90 minutes Together:
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We started our group with member check-ins and uncovered several resonant themes of interest:
- Crowdsourcing support
- Relationships to substances
- Coming out at work (in relation to gender, sexuality, neurodivergence)
- Medical trauma & related experiences (including resonant experiences with hypermobile EDS)
- Grief re: low spoons/ energetic capacity
- Permission to accommodate self
- Holding anger and frustration
- We remained in the large group for the entirety of the session. (We surveyed the group to learn more about interest re: frequency of future breakout groups).
- A generous group member shared about her fiber arts creative practice during our very first Show and Tell! We are so fortunate to bear witness to our community member’s talents and creativity. AND, she offered to create fiber art fidgets for those who are interested! Incredible.
- As a reminder, Show and Tell is a flexible 10 minute spotlight where 1-2 group members each week share about something they are working on, something of special interest to them at the moment, etc. The purpose is for us to learn more about each other in a way that feels fun and accessible to us as neuroqueer humans.
- Finally, we identified three themes for discussion during the remainder of our time together. Below is some of what we explored and held in our shared space:
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Discussion Points:
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Collective care through crowdsourcing within our group and beyond
- Including financial needs, materials/supplies, support swapping, body doubling, emotional care, etc.
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Relationship to substances
- vulnerability around cannabis use (including the wide spectrum of experience from sobriety to regular use)
- assessing group fit given personal needs and the range of experiences in our space
- invitations to connect with community members around shared experiences of hospitalization and other levels of mental health care treatment, the impacts of carceral forms of treatment, etc
- Neuroqueer Connections as a starting point for relationships that can be cultivated elsewhere and beyond our group space
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Low-spoonie experience & permission to accommodate self
- As folks who are low on spoons, many of us are practicing taking up space
- Noticing when we try to make ourselves as quiet as possible; naming an internalized assumption that people don't want to hear from us, and interrupting associated hypervigilance in safe enough ways (that may feel new and scary!)
- Honoring history of staying small and quiet as survival
- How staying small and quiet can impact presence with friends when we desperately want to participate in relational connection
- It's heartening to see our group members offering one another validation and care, remember that “You are a prize!”
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Holding anger and frustration
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How do we move anger and rage through our body in safe enough ways?
- Martial arts
- Performing/ acting
- Screaming
- Hitting the dirt or sand with a bat
- Kink practice
- Share the load in community with others
- Tend to our grief
- We explored racialized and gendered experiences of anger: for who is it safe to express anger?
- Folks named challenges accessing rage and fear around feeling into our own anger, fears that arise when expressing anger and impact on self-perception
- We named ways that anger has been suppressed and how we dissociate from it and/or experience freeze responses
- We may be interested in getting curious about how our anger protects us in future group sessions
- “Anger as alchemy”
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Future topics for discussion include:
- Grief associated with unmasking (changes in relationships, shifts in our relationship to “productivity”, etc)
- Support re: coming out/ advocating for self at work (in terms of gender, access needs/accommodations, etc)
- Designated time & space in Neuroqueer Connections to discuss medical trauma, navigating the medical industry with a focus on access and embodiment
- Processing of unique relational dynamics as neuroqueer humans
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Resources shared in our last group:
Additional resources to check out (that were not mentioned in group but felt relevant to share):
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*These resources are added to a shared group document where members crowd-source and share resources, links and information. To gain access to this shared resource, join us for a live group session! Please note: we aim to prioritize resources and teachings from people of color.
Music Highlight:
We opened our group session with a few pieces from Beautiful Chorus. It was suggested by a wise group member that we develop a playlist that showcases past musical shares! We will develop this in the coming weeks.
If you have music you would like to share with the Neuroqueer Connections Community, reply directly to this email or please use our feedback form to submit your favorite songs and artists!
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Tentative Agenda for Group on Wednesday October 16th, 2024 at 5pm ET/ 4pm CT/ 2pm PT:
- Welcome new members!
- Check in on access needs/ group agreements, and any opening questions or reflections folks may have
- Brief member check-ins
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Informal Hangout Time!
- 20 mins in breakout groups including a BIPOC affinity space
- Possible practice exercise (if there is interest and time permitting)
- 10 min break halfway-through if desired
- One word closing check-in
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If you are interested in joining our next group as a new member, please apply here. If you are a returning member who has not yet confirmed your spot in our upcoming group, please register here! We meet every other Wednesday for 90 minutes. We offer drop in and returning member commitment options.
Our group next week is on October 16th 2024, we look forward to seeing you there.
In community,
Dani & Kim
Dani Sullivan, LCSW (they/them) intentionstherapy.com
Kim Konopka, LCSW (they/them) yungmeepsychotherapy.com
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